Author Archives

Nelson

"It is love alone that gives worth to all things." St. Theresa of Avila
"In the Evening of Life We will be Judged on Love Alone." – St. John of the Cross.

a love so thick

Photo by Filipe Almeida on Unsplash the rising sunreminds me,of thecollective setting,as wecast our nets lest weforget,the lovewe never met… reflecting uponthe dream,I’m remindedof you,as roots belong to trees,you, and me,are one behind the breeze of a love filledwith such fervor,it’s hard torememberthe temperaturein the roomthe day we metbetweenthe covers, spent blanketed in a loveso […]

a love so thick

The Fall of Rain

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. Roger Miller. After the rainEach droplet an eyeFrom one place do they cry Drag me downWith sweet gravityI feel it coming over meLike a storm again Were I touchHold up the mirrorFeel meChange you Raindrops are not actually shaped like tears. As a raindrop falls, […]

The Fall of Rain

Searching For Fairytale Love

Raw Writings - ©BBYCGN

The Narcissist’s Love Bombing mimics the fairytaleromancethatmany of us read about from as far back as early youthwhen we were babes and brats running around in our Sponge-Bob Pull-ups.

Henceforth, we attempt, in joyful anticipation, to sacrifice our life’s energies into searching for fairytale love to our detriment.

Searching For Fairytale Love

Searching For Fairytale Love

Reckless Need

In our consuming,almost desperate,search to fulfill this mission of ardent yearning, we forget to nourish ourselvesthislong-awaited attention. We neglect the genuine care for ourselves in which we would lavish a beloved, or even our own child.

Therefore, our dawning excitement for asoulmate,that once flooded us with joyous anticipation, turns into turbulent anxiety as we search in a frenzy for someone to fill the deep void caused by our own self-disregard.

We then radiate traits, such as desperation and reckless need, in which predators target, thus making us easy marks for these…

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Sociopath’s Carousel of Madness

Raw Writings - ©BBYCGN

Carousels capture our attention with their musical and colorful slow spinning array of pretty painted horses, but there are some merry-go-rounds that, once we board, will end up being the longest ride of our lives.

Nostalgic whimsical displays that trigger sentimental memories of all things wholesome and endearing are the illusions the Sociopath creates as his/her carousel seizes our attention in its magnetic, unearthly charm.

Sociopath’s Carousel of Madness, BBYCGN
Warning New Victim

These diabolical characters speak the right words in their melodious tones and captivate us in soothing phrases such as“Marrying someone of your quality is my heart’s desire and has been my whole life”; “Youaloneunderstand me”; or, “I have met no one like you before except for my former soulmate who died disagreeing with a loaded shotgun”.

Such tender sentiments feel surreal and we foresee afairytaleending. Grand performancesappeal to the majority and entice many into choosing the Sociopath’s madness-ride over any other.

As…

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Uncharted Terrain of Dissociation

Raw Writings - ©BBYCGN

Drifting amid an abstract sea

toward an unknown destination;

we row our boats

among uncharted terrain

between surrealism

and dissociation. 

Uncharted Terrain of Dissociation, BBYCGN

Uncharted Terrain of Dissociation

Lost in blurred awareness-

a reminder of a disconnected state;

alienation because of dissociation,

my ever-present mate.

Copyright ©BBYCGN – To any Narcissists: All Freakin’ Rights Reserved (Quit plagiarizing my stuff, Narcissists).

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

.

Uncharted Terrain of Dissociation BBYCGN
Dissociation, BBYCGN

Uncharted Terrain of Dissociation, BBYCGN
Dissociation, BBYCGN

Dissociation, Mental Health BBYCGN

Dissociation, Mental Health BBYCGN

Dissociation, Mental Health BBYCGN



PTSD Dragon

Shelter From Helter Skelter

Reality Bites The Dust

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Where do I begin…

in God's peace

My Love, my Brighteyes.

It has been exactly seven years since the sudden death of my father, when I was thrust into the role of the sole caregiver of my mother, who was by then suffering from dementia and severe disability. As I was soon to find out, her health problems were partly caused by the continuous intake of sedatives and sleeping pills, which were practically force-fed to her by my abusive father, so that he could continue completely unchecked with his whoring and gambling.

The last few years of his life had been hellish for us both. You remember those endless phone calls, when we were trying so hard to make a living in a country that was falling financially and socially apart, where he was yelling and screaming at me, blaming me for all the mishaps in his life, that I had betrayed and abandoned him by marrying…

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Poem: Fragile

Chronicles of an Ordinary Life

It’s quiet and I lay in my pool of sadness
There’s no air I must be drowned in Atlantis
The silence is loud but how can it?
I’m fragile and soft I can’t take the madness

When did I become fragile and soft, I wonder
At a glance I lose balance and words blunder
Was it that time you yelled at me?
That can’t be reality for I must be stronger

Threading past paths, hoping it gets serene
But a sharp bang breaks, shatters the dream
Was that everything I ever had?
I observe the rubble, and I begin to bleed

Out there is a scary and lonely space to be
With no friends shoulders that I could see
On what will I go on and cry?
Maybe God’s shoulders? I pray hoping He hears

-Basher B. 

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Null

Chronicles of an Ordinary Life

Contemplating the beauty of a painting,
Regardless of the artists brushstrokes.
Frozen and unable to conceive a meaning,
As clocks tick while the night crawls,

A faint music hovers behind my ears,
Trembles my thighs out of the blue
,
Slowly I lose and everything disappears,
The painter knows I’m without a clue,

I look deeper and hope something blooms,
Beside me a woman glitches into being,
A glance and I’m pulled out of the glooms,
Heart’s reaching out but my soul’s fleeing,

Once again I stand still before the painting,
Knowing there is something for I’m waiting

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To whom so ever it may concern

Learning with Life

Picking on others just to make themselves feel less..
Advising unnecessarily when they seek just acceptance..
If someone is considering themselves perfect that doesn’t provide a licence to hate..
Don’t realise, but a little damage done can turn into disaster if not checked in the correct time frame..
To the person who just adjusting themselves strangely when they can easily stand out great.

Everyone is exclusive in their own way
But still want to fix others when not at all required what to call it hypocrite…
Love yourself enough to forgot bring in hate..
The World is not a fair place, but still enough for all to be themselves…
To satisfy ego unnecessarily picks on the innocent being…
Who is unique in their own way but struggling with self esteem..
Look they also started finding fault in themselves forgetting god made them impeccable…
a masterpiece that unfortunately slowly getting discomposed…

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Where’s the end!!

Learning with Life

Oh dear! Comfort you are so cozy and warm
Just like a blanket in a cold night and like home
You make me feel lighter without any fear
You just become a habit, oh so dear
One part of me always push you away from me
Yes, I am one of those who mostly listen to the part that says-“ this is not what you want” or “this is fine, but what next”
All other parts of me tell me you are just what I need
If I am not here, then actually where to go
Oh! But hey, you seldom tell me how you just make me lazy
I just feel like to take it all easy
And then realise something is just not right
The one thing that stops me from growing no matter how easy there to survive
That’s where I start doubting you and questioning myself

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Walk Into My Parlour

“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,“‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,And I have many curious things to shew when you are there.”“Oh no, no,” said the little Fly, “to ask me is in vain,For who goes […]

Walk Into My Parlour

A Prayer in Spring🏵

Robert Frost, one of the most celebrated figures in American poetry, was born in San Francisco on 26 March 1874. He died in Boston in 1963 His first poetry collection was “A Boy’s Will” published in 1913. “A Prayer in Spring” is its tenth poem: it describes the greatness of love found not in distant […]

A Prayer in Spring🏵

Join Me in this Heartfelt Prayer of Hope for a Hurting World

Here in rural Maine on an average Saturday, I might pull some weeds while I’m snipping crisp, early-morning lettuce leaves. There might be a carrot cake in the oven, a salad under construction on the counter, and a podcast playing in the background. Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, on that very same Saturday, a woman my age […]

Join Me in this Heartfelt Prayer of Hope for a Hurting World

വെടി മാത്തൻ

Nelson MCBS

വെടി മാത്തൻ മരിച്ചു….. (വെടി പറയുന്നത് കൊണ്ട് അല്ല. പറവയേ വെടിവച്ചു കിട്ടിയ സ്ഥാനപ്പേരാണ്.)

മരണശേഷം സ്വർഗ്ഗ വാതിൽക്കലെത്തിയ വെടി മാത്തൻ സ്വർഗ്ഗത്തിന്റെ ഗേറ്റിൽ പത്രോസ് ശ്ലീഹായേ കണ്ടു മുട്ടി.

പത്രോസ്: “സ്വർഗ്ഗത്തിൽ പ്രവേശിക്കണമെങ്കിൽ നിങ്ങൾ ഒരു വാക്കിന്റെ സ്പെല്ലിങ്ങ് പറയേണ്ടതുണ്ട്.”

വെടി മാത്തൻ : പ്രഭോ… ഏതാണാ വാക്ക് ?

പത്രോസ്: ലവ്

വെടി മാത്തൻ: L O V E

പത്രോസ് : വളരെ ശരിയാണ് അകത്തേക്ക് വരൂ.

വെടിയേയും കൂട്ടി അകത്തേക്ക് പ്രവേശിക്കുന്നതിനിടെ പത്രോസിൻ്റെ മൊബൈൽ ബെല്ലടിച്ചു..

എന്നെ ദൈവം എന്തോ വളരെ അത്യാവശ്യ കാര്യത്തിനായി വിളിക്കുന്നു…. ഞാൻ തിരിച്ചു വരുന്നതുവരെ നീ ഈ ഗെയിറ്റിനു കാവൽ നിൽക്കണം.

ഉത്തരവ് പ്രഭോ !!

ഞാൻ തിരിച്ചു വരുന്നതിനിടയിൽ ആരെങ്കിലും വരികയാണെങ്കിൽ നീ ഇതേ ചോദ്യം അവരോട് ചോദിക്കുക. കൃത്യമായി സ്പെല്ലിങ്ങ് പറയുകയാണെങ്കിൽ അവരെ നീ സ്വർഗത്തിലേക്ക് കടത്തി വിടുക. അല്ലാത്ത പക്ഷം നീ അവർക്ക് അടുത്ത ഗെയിറ്റ് കാണിച്ചു കൊടുക്കുക. അത് നരകത്തിലേക്കുള്ള ഗെയിറ്റ് ആണ്. ഭയപ്പെടേണ്ട അങ്ങോട്ട്‌ പോയവർക്ക് വീണ്ടും തിരിച്ചു വരാൻ കഴിയില്ല, അവിടെ എത്തുമ്പോഴേക്കും അവർ നരകത്തിൽ വീണിരിക്കും … അറിയാതെയാണെങ്കിലും മാത്തൻ ഒന്ന് ഞെട്ടിപ്പോയി.

ഉത്തരവ് പ്രഭോ !!

പത്രോസ് പോയി കുറച്ചു കഴിയുമ്പോഴേക്കും ഒരു സ്ത്രീ അങ്ങോട്ട് വരുന്നതായി മാത്തൻ കണ്ടു !
അയാൾ പകച്ചു പോയി….. അത് മാത്തൻ്റെ ഭാര്യയായിരുന്നു.

മാത്തൻ : ഹായ് ലില്ലീ… നീയെങ്ങിനെ ഇവിടെ എത്തി…

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The Ultimatum

Stories I've Never Told...

She gave him an ultimatum. She said he had to marry her within the next year, or she was done. She’d been with him for years already.

She still had a bit of a wild side to her back then. She liked having a bit too much to drink and having to balance on a handsome stranger’s arm to get her down the stairs to the subway platform. Never anything more than that. It was all in good fun. She really loved him. She really wanted to marry him.

When he hesitated, said he wasn’t ready, she was hurt. We made alternate fantasy plans. When the year was up, we’d ditch Canada and go to Spain. We’d teach English and room together in a villa in Seville. We’d eat paella and drink sangria every night, never worrying about relationships.

But her parents got involved. Her father sat him down and…

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