I’ve always flirted with the idea of being one these miracle creatures. Behind every successful woman is a basket of dirty laundry. The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. You learn so much on that trip. If she has an inferiority complex, an impulse buyer, and if she’s batshit crazy. Women know, they just know. Even if they didn’t know, they would still know. Men probably won’t get this, but women will because they know. Women are the type to wake you at 2 am to ask you if you’d still love her if she were a frog or some shit. And you have to answer yes to go back to sleep.

Greatness. The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised. Being a…